So many things I'm scared of happening then and now. It's always a constant worry for me even though few of them I really shouldn't be and just go with the flow and accept it.
Showing posts with label Mixed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mixed. Show all posts
Dec 3, 2015
Mar 17, 2015
Thoughts on the Antilia Direction Change
Tags
Deep Thought,
Entry,
Mixed
After the recent announcement of the changes to Antilia, I've been feeling unsure of myself (spring season, active pollen, and climbing humidity could also be a factor) if I want to continue support Antilia.
It's what I said in a post I made on a thread to discuss the latest blog post.
Few weeks back I asked in the steam chat if it was best for Jeff to put a pause on Antilia and work on a smaller project with the Toi Engine, as more of a tech demo of the engine while at the same time get some revenue going for RBG.
Hearing this news, and being about as old as Vaila here in the commute, I do have mix feelings about it... I can't exactly say why, not only because I'm too lax to think and still collecting my thoughts, I had plans when it was targeted to be an MMO, but now that it's going en route to this... doubt any plans I had can be salvaged but remains to be seen.
I'll still stick around, but at this time my support is awaiting jury.
It's what I said in a post I made on a thread to discuss the latest blog post.
Feb 19, 2015
Scar of Mar
Tags
Deep Thought,
Entry,
Mixed
(Follow Up of Clear Picture Music)
We've all faced Mar at one point or another, and some have managed to notice sooner. Sadly I only noticed when it was far too late for me. Damages have been done... they cannot be reversed.
Mad, Anger, Rage, or Mar, is something we all develop in our early years of life; before we have our path set before us, before we have a focus set in our minds. However, some are not able to notice it soon enough, or at least not made aware of it. By the time I noticed it, I was already finished with schooling.
We've all faced Mar at one point or another, and some have managed to notice sooner. Sadly I only noticed when it was far too late for me. Damages have been done... they cannot be reversed.
Mad, Anger, Rage, or Mar, is something we all develop in our early years of life; before we have our path set before us, before we have a focus set in our minds. However, some are not able to notice it soon enough, or at least not made aware of it. By the time I noticed it, I was already finished with schooling.
Feb 7, 2015
Years I've Been
Tags
Deep Thought,
Entry,
Mixed
5 Years I've been with Steam. 4 Years I've been with Antilia. 3 Years I've been seeing myself grow, monitoring myself more, and reflecting my past actions starting when I was a kitten. 2 Years I've been seeing my family fall apart. 1 Year I've been looking for a road of life out of limbo, currently stuck on Boulevard of Broken Dreams with no clear exit or end.
I feel I've became more wiser, more cautious with my actions, while still paranoid of my surroundings as my past continues to give me visions in my sleep and various scents I smell each day bringing back a flashback.
For a few nights I've been getting visions in my sleep, whether alternative results of my past, predictable future, or metaphor dreams based off of thoughts and recent events.
One vision shows the end of days. I don't know what happened, but it caused major devastation in a city. Nothing but ashes and crumbled towers that once resisted the wind. Yet there's life coming out from the crumbles, however only few survive... a select few from a divine power the dream was telling me. They appear unscathed. Not even their clothing is damaged. Normal citizens, middle class at most. Like they were chosen to rebuild civilization from start and hopefully not make the same mistakes that has been happening for decades by others. I believe I was one of them or I was looking through the eyes of one that survived.
I feel I've became more wiser, more cautious with my actions, while still paranoid of my surroundings as my past continues to give me visions in my sleep and various scents I smell each day bringing back a flashback.
For a few nights I've been getting visions in my sleep, whether alternative results of my past, predictable future, or metaphor dreams based off of thoughts and recent events.
One vision shows the end of days. I don't know what happened, but it caused major devastation in a city. Nothing but ashes and crumbled towers that once resisted the wind. Yet there's life coming out from the crumbles, however only few survive... a select few from a divine power the dream was telling me. They appear unscathed. Not even their clothing is damaged. Normal citizens, middle class at most. Like they were chosen to rebuild civilization from start and hopefully not make the same mistakes that has been happening for decades by others. I believe I was one of them or I was looking through the eyes of one that survived.
Jan 28, 2015
Choice: Wisdom or Greed, Life or Power
Tags
Deep Thought,
Entry,
Mixed
In a game called UnEpic, mid way into the game, you are given two choices to end a sub-quest on two separate occasions that will affect your gameplay down the road.
1. You are asked to collect a Book of Wisdom from a pit of spikes for an elder who will give you 100 coins (which is alot at this point of the game). Upon getting the book, the description says upon reading it you can get 5 more points to spend on your character. However, what isn't told from the elder or the description is that once it is read, the book will be blank.
2. Another elder is planning to make an elixer of youth to be younger and stronger again, to seek revenge against those that teased him for being old. He's missing one ingredient, a dragon egg, which is locked in a cage guarded by orcs in a cave. The elder offers a ring that offers a huge boost in damage for all melee weapons, Upon reaching the egg, you discover it's about to hatch. You are advised, strongly, to not break the egg by both the elder or no reward, and a shadow, that attempted to possessed you, failed, and currently stuck in your body, or else it'll cause havoc to the castle.
What would you do in these situations between the two choices? Would you give wisdom away for money, or would you take that wisdom for yourself and use it to your advantage? Would you sacrifice a new born creature for a potion to turn someone else young again for power, or raise it as your own and forfeit that power?
1. You are asked to collect a Book of Wisdom from a pit of spikes for an elder who will give you 100 coins (which is alot at this point of the game). Upon getting the book, the description says upon reading it you can get 5 more points to spend on your character. However, what isn't told from the elder or the description is that once it is read, the book will be blank.
2. Another elder is planning to make an elixer of youth to be younger and stronger again, to seek revenge against those that teased him for being old. He's missing one ingredient, a dragon egg, which is locked in a cage guarded by orcs in a cave. The elder offers a ring that offers a huge boost in damage for all melee weapons, Upon reaching the egg, you discover it's about to hatch. You are advised, strongly, to not break the egg by both the elder or no reward, and a shadow, that attempted to possessed you, failed, and currently stuck in your body, or else it'll cause havoc to the castle.
What would you do in these situations between the two choices? Would you give wisdom away for money, or would you take that wisdom for yourself and use it to your advantage? Would you sacrifice a new born creature for a potion to turn someone else young again for power, or raise it as your own and forfeit that power?
Jul 12, 2014
Long-Term Answer Revisited
The answer is bigger than I thought, and more impacting than before, the deeper I dig. Things are becoming clear to me, if only I spotted it sooner I could've adjusted to it easier and be a better person than I am now. Memories are pouring in, memories I locked away, pretending it never happened that way. Guilt and regret, two reasons I locked them away. Guilt for what I purposely did and put others through. Regret for the repercussions it caused on me later down the road, wishing I just stayed true to myself I would have had a better chance of enjoying life to the fullness. Instead, I locked them away, causing a missing link in the timeline.
It's easy to lose one self, when surrounded by people that mostly go on a different path than yours. You don't want to be isolated, walking that path alone. So you change course and follow them, only to end up isolating yourself, walking the path alone and behind the rest. Try to catch up, but to no avail, lengthening the distance. You don't want to go back to your original path, but stay on theirs, all because you don't wish to be alone. Eventually, you gone too far to realize a terrible mistake you made. Going back may be nearly impossible now. So you trail off the path, into the unknown. Hoping to find your original course, only to end up lost in the void, deeper, deeper as you go.
It's easy to lose one self, when surrounded by people that mostly go on a different path than yours. You don't want to be isolated, walking that path alone. So you change course and follow them, only to end up isolating yourself, walking the path alone and behind the rest. Try to catch up, but to no avail, lengthening the distance. You don't want to go back to your original path, but stay on theirs, all because you don't wish to be alone. Eventually, you gone too far to realize a terrible mistake you made. Going back may be nearly impossible now. So you trail off the path, into the unknown. Hoping to find your original course, only to end up lost in the void, deeper, deeper as you go.
Mar 20, 2014
Long Term Coincidence
This picture, this exact picture, was made 8 years ago, 2006. At that time I was a huge fan of two things for the PS2: Sly Cooper and .hack. Originally made for an avatar on a fansite I went to frequently while a certain MMO was active and in it's early years of success. Originally started my name as Sly, after Sly Cooper of course, eventually changed it to Sly Kite with the picture you see below, and then again to Sly K.
This was made BEFORE LongSly and YlsGnol (Blue and Orange) and before I knew those two colors were exact opposites of each other. At the time of making, was just to express my interest in the two games and franchise.
This is nothing more than a huge coincidence. Tettix didn't know about this. No one in the Antilia commute or those merged from EE knew about it. And I'm surprised I've forgotten all about it till today!
This was made BEFORE LongSly and YlsGnol (Blue and Orange) and before I knew those two colors were exact opposites of each other. At the time of making, was just to express my interest in the two games and franchise.This is nothing more than a huge coincidence. Tettix didn't know about this. No one in the Antilia commute or those merged from EE knew about it. And I'm surprised I've forgotten all about it till today!
Sep 9, 2013
Entry 28
On August 30th I ordered a new laptop keyboard. I found out it's easy to replace a keyboard on a Toshiba Satellite L655 laptop. At first for several months was trying to save up for a new laptop altogether, but seeing replacing is easy, rather spend $15 (plus another $8 for shipping & handling) for a keyboard than try to save up $1,000 for a new laptop more suited for gaming but may end up as a disappointment in the long run. My research has reached a stand still for months. Who knows, I may be able to buy a desktop instead for gaming instead of a laptop; but research I still need to do, despite I'm average about it usually.
While I am happy I have a new keyboard--can finally press W and Alt-Tab again, and no longer have to use the on-screen keyboard--I still feel a bit down, other than ToonTown closing.
While I am happy I have a new keyboard--can finally press W and Alt-Tab again, and no longer have to use the on-screen keyboard--I still feel a bit down, other than ToonTown closing.
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