Years I've Been

5 Years I've been with Steam. 4 Years I've been with Antilia. 3 Years I've been seeing myself grow, monitoring myself more, and reflecting my past actions starting when I was a kitten. 2 Years I've been seeing my family fall apart. 1 Year I've been looking for a road of life out of limbo, currently stuck on Boulevard of Broken Dreams with no clear exit or end.

I feel I've became more wiser, more cautious with my actions, while still paranoid of my surroundings as my past continues to give me visions in my sleep and various scents I smell each day bringing back a flashback.

For a few nights I've been getting visions in my sleep, whether alternative results of my past, predictable future, or metaphor dreams based off of thoughts and recent events.

One vision shows the end of days. I don't know what happened, but it caused major devastation in a city. Nothing but ashes and crumbled towers that once resisted the wind. Yet there's life coming out from the crumbles, however only few survive... a select few from a divine power the dream was telling me. They appear unscathed. Not even their clothing is damaged. Normal citizens, middle class at most. Like they were chosen to rebuild civilization from start and hopefully not make the same mistakes that has been happening for decades by others. I believe I was one of them or I was looking through the eyes of one that survived.

This vision still bothers me... is it just me worried about the current world or a warning of what's to come? I'm not religious, but I'm trying not to suspect a great being would send me a vision... I mean, what can I do to prevent it? ...or is it telling me not to be afraid for what may come in my life time? Either way this is something I don't want to take for granted...

In fact, I almost got hit by a car, by a few inches, when I was in middle school crossing a street to wait at the bus stop. And another time when I drove passed a red light (thinking it was green, or so I believed, plus a bit of exhaustion of labor work) nearly getting or about to T-Bone. Twice I've avoided near death accidents in my life due to negligence of my surroundings on two far separate occasions. I call it luck... nothing more, nothing less, nothing else, but I don't take this luck for granted either, especially if my life was on the line.

I wonder if the experiences I've had in the passed were lessons to be taught to me and one day share... about life, people, actions. How life today is becoming more and more unbearable, how people are becoming more irrational and violent as the years go by, how one small action by nature or person can cause a whole nation to protest when it doesn't directly affect them or know what exactly happened, like the highly racial controversial Zimmerman case in Florida (Look up at your own risk, but will need a huge open mind for it or be lost in the hate that spewed out of it by others) or the disaster of Japan and many people from USA refused to help because of Pearl Harbor despite we did get them back but with a bigger bark and bite.

Nonetheless, gonna put this all to the side and focus on my life. No point in thinking about this any longer till something comes to light. I just hope... no... I fear the world may end up doing a cleansing of its own one day, just hope not anytime soon... but who's to say at this point.