Entry 21

This is a mix feel entry: Grumpy, Sad, and Happy. As you read this, please keep in mind I am not seeking pity or for people to feel sorry. Guidance is welcomed, but don't want any paw holding. Gotta learn to do things on my own after all, despite how scary it may be.

Grumpy

Minecraft
On the minecraft server, I first got invited to a steam group, Minecraft Server Community, by I believe either a bot that invites random folk or a player inviting random folk... don't know honestly. Anyway. I join the server for 1.6.1/1.6.2. First time joining. Signs of things being recently grieved. Mainly because the houses are right there next to the spawn. Hardly see anyone on, not even an admin by the looks of it. I play for a bit out of that town, get some resources, hide in kitty made holes during the night, and head back prepared to fight off any mobs that may come in my way. Second day, more grieving done, nothing fix, heavy lack of players/admin. So I thought to myself, "Not worth playing in." Just thankful I didn't bother to build anything. Whatever I found in the wild is keeps to me in that server. Enchanted bow with good durability for starters.

Toki Tori
I bought two games that were on sale on Steam: Toki Tori, and Toki Tori 2+ (whatever the plus means). This started when I recieved two coupons for Toki Tori 2+ with a message on them saying "Thank you for being a fan of Two Tribes! Here's a coupon for 10% off Toki Tori 2!" By Two Tribes I have their two other games Edge and Rush--great games, recommend them both--that I bought in a Cube Pack, including bit.trip Runner (frustration city!), Blocks that Matter (meh puzzle game), Qube (Portal 1 feel to it), and Crtical Mass over a year ago. Yeah, I'm a major casual gamer at times.

Anyway, I try the demo or Toki Tori, worked great and liked it. There was no demo for the sequal, but since it was on sale, 34% off, plus I had a coupon for 10% more off, thought I buy that too. While Toki Tori works fine, the sequel doesn't. Upon starting the game, I get this message that says my GPU isn't compatible for Directx 10 and something about 8k graphics (according to the devs is  8192 by 8192), yet when I tried to install DX10, it said I had something better and didn't bother to proceed with the installing. I'm not alone in this issue. Apparently it worked fine in beta for some prior to release, where those had a good time in beta are having issues on release. So there goes about $10 down the drain on that game due to a dev team error. The coupon only took $.99 off of Toki Tori 2+, same price Toki Tori was going for at 80% off, so basically the first game was free. I don't know how to ask for a refund in steam though or how that works. I am upset.

Sad

Making Appointments
Due to bad experiences I have had in the past, majority wise, I get nervous when seeing new faces or talking to new people over the phone. Causes me to stutter and confuse myself. I'm over due for an oil change on my car by 300 miles, and I have a "cavity"--not yet sure what it really is; no pain though, but some discomfort when drinking--on my first left tooth by the two top front teeth just by the gums. Other than my fear, my hours of my job are unpredictable of what they are and when I'm assigned to them per weekday could be told either Sunday or sometime in the week like the day before the job. My hours could vary from less than 1 hour (uncommon),  2-3 hours (common), or up to 5 hours (rarely if only two people working)

Cell Phone
My old flip phone display finally bit the dust. Just recently renewed my minutes too on the prepaid plan. Currently looking through a list of possible go phones to choose from. In comparison though it says "AT&T discounts device costs with a 1- or 2-year contract." So will I be forced on a contract for buying a new phone or am I missing something here? I like a phone that has a camera on it, I can download songs on it from my computer and can listen from them. But that note is just a big fear to me... I really don't know what to do. A friend suggests I just buy a $5 phone. I rather not feel cheap.

Money Fear

I'm tired of feeling cheap and have the appearance that I'm poor. I have money just... don't have a clear idea of how to use it other than bills and if I'm using my money wisely or not. I have this long lasting feel of being poor and broke, that I'll barely have enough to fend myself. It's a nightmare for me, a constant fear (would explain why I have over a million of gold in Mabinogi). I know I'll be making financial risks that may be a gamble, regardless if I research enough. Like a new cellphone, laptop/desktop, when the time comes a place of my own possibly with a roommate. I know life is scary once you're old enough to be on your own.

A friend of mine has been helping me with confidence, I'm having trouble keeping it up when she's not around. Trying to think positive, but without going overboard on it. It's very difficult for me.

Happy

Now this made my day. As I was sorta ranting about my trip to this minecraft server on Antilia's community page, a phrase came to my mind. I'll let this explain everything. An Antilia Phrase. (What I "whited out" was something else. Pacific Time Zone). I am both happy to think of a creative phrase for Antilia and Tettix to laugh too. She's difficult for me to make her laugh! The only way for her to laugh is if she's gloomy down at me with a weapon in paw, and me shaking in fear.